How many Reyes presents per child: what is reasonable, how to cap it
There is no correct number and no study that sets one. As a pointer, three to five presents in total, adding up every household, is what a child can open, look at and use. What counts is the total, not what each person brings.
The question usually comes up on the afternoon of 6 January, the day of Reyes (Three Kings), with the living room full of paper and a child playing with just one thing, or with the box. By then it is too late. The time to decide is November.
There is no official number
No body or study that we have been able to check sets how many presents a child should get. The ‘three to five’ figure we give above is a practical pointer, the same one the four-gift rule arrives at, and that rule has no identifiable scientific origin either. Be wary of anyone who presents a number as a rule.
What many parents do report, though it is not measured data:
- The youngest lose interest in opening after a few parcels.
- The more presents there are, the less time the child spends on each one that day and in the days after.
- The ones that end up being used are few, and they are almost never the most expensive.
What ‘over-gifted child syndrome’ is
It is a popular expression (in Spanish, síndrome del niño hiperregalado) that appears in the press every December. It is not a clinical diagnosis and does not appear in the psychiatry or psychology manuals. It describes something many parents recognise: a child who gets so much that they value nothing, ask for more and cope badly with a ‘no’.
Use it as a handy label for an excess, not as an illness your child might have. One 6 January with too many parcels does not cause any disorder. The problem, if there is one, comes from the habit of the whole year, not from one day.
Count the total, not per household
The usual mistake is that each household applies its own reasonable limit. Three presents at home, three at one set of grandparents’, three at the other’s and two from aunts and uncles make eleven.
| Who | A possible split |
|---|---|
| The Kings at home | The main present from the letter and a book |
| Mum’s parents | Something they need: clothes, a rucksack, sports gear |
| Dad’s parents | A board game to play with them |
| Aunts, uncles and godparents | One joint present between them all, or a small gift each |
This is an example, not a template. The important thing is that someone keeps count, and normally that is the parents.
How to tell the grandparents
This is the hard part, because giving presents is their way of being present.
- Talk in November, before they have bought anything. After that, all you can do is say thank you.
- Ask for something specific instead of banning. ‘They need a coat and they want this game’ works better than ‘don’t buy them so much’.
- Suggest one better present instead of several. Anyone who wants to spend can do so on a single present of better quality.
- Offer alternatives that are not parcels: a ticket, a day out, an afternoon together, a contribution towards something big.
If you celebrate both Father Christmas and Reyes
Two dates should not mean double. The child’s total ought to be the same, split between the two. We explain it in Father Christmas or the Three Kings: how to split the presents.
If it has already got out of hand
- Put some of the presents away unopened and bring them out over the winter. A new game in February is better received than the seventh parcel on the 6th.
- Before Christmas, go through what your child no longer uses with them, to donate it. It makes room and gives them an idea of what they have.
- With siblings, swap several individual presents for one to share.
Fewer is not worse
Having few presents forces you to choose well, and that starts with the letter. In what to ask for at each age there are ideas to help your child rank what they really want. And in Reyes gifts you will find the ones most likely to last beyond January.
