Letter to the Three Kings: what to ask for at each age, 3 to 12
Up to age 5 you write the letter yourself around their drawings, and two or three requests are enough. From 6 to 9 they choose on their own and it helps to ask them to rank their wishes. From 10 to 12 they ask for fewer things, and more specific ones.
In Spain, children write a letter to the Reyes Magos (the Three Kings, who bring presents on 6 January). The letter does two jobs: the child thinks about what they really want, and the adults know what to buy without guessing. What belongs in it changes a great deal between ages 3 and 12.
What to ask for at each age
| Age | What tends to work | Watch out for | Ideas |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Building sets with big pieces, play kitchens and pretend play, lift-the-flap storybooks | Small parts: always check the minimum age on the box | Gifts for 3-year-olds |
| 4 | Dressing-up outfits, puzzles with few pieces, modelling clay, first cooperative board games | Games with lots of rules: they get tired before they start | Gifts for 4-year-olds |
| 5 | Building sets with simple instructions, crafts, a scooter, memory games | Sets that need an adult the whole time | Gifts for 5-year-olds |
| 6 | First books to read alone, card games, step-by-step building sets | ‘Grown-up’ presents they cannot yet use without help | Gifts for 6-year-olds |
| 7 | Simple science kits, book series, board games with short rules | Single-use kits, if you expect them to last | Gifts for 7-year-olds |
| 8 | More technical building sets, family strategy games, drawing materials | Asking for the same as an older sibling | Gifts for 8-year-olds |
| 9 | Beginner robotics, comics, one-player logic games, sports gear | Huge sets that will not fit in their room once built | Gifts for 9-year-olds |
| 10 | Longer board games, display building sets, crafts with a ‘real’ result | Toys they now see as babyish | Gifts for 10-year-olds |
| 11 | Novels and series, science with real experiments, things for their hobby | Buying by the age on the box and not by what interests them | Gifts for 11-year-olds |
| 12 | Simple adult board games, advanced building sets, accessories they use every day | Surprises: at this age they would rather you asked | Gifts for 12-year-olds |
These are pointers by stage, not a rule. A 6-year-old who has been building since age 3 can handle sets for 8-year-olds, and a 10-year-old who does not read for pleasure will not start because the Kings bring a series.
Ages 3 to 5: you write the letter
They cannot yet tell the difference between what they want and what they have just seen. Show them a whole catalogue and they will ask for all of it.
- Give them a few things to choose from, not everything.
- Let them draw or stick in cut-outs, and write the name next to each one yourself.
- Two or three requests are enough. At this age they do not keep count.
Ages 6 to 9: have them rank it
They now write on their own, and the list grows with every advert and every playtime. Asking them to number it from most to least wanted is the most useful thing you can do: it tells you which present cannot be missing and which are padding.
Use the moment to have them add a book and something they need. If you follow the four-gift rule, the letter can already have those four boxes.
Ages 10 to 12: fewer things, more specific
They ask for fewer presents but know the exact model. Have them write it down just as it is, with the full name, so nobody buys the wrong version. This is also the age for striking a deal: one big present between several households instead of lots of small ones.
Three things that prevent upsets
- Write it early. The most requested items sell out in December. In when to buy Reyes presents we explain the timings.
- Make clear that the Kings choose. The letter is a wish list, not an order. Say so before it is written, not afterwards.
- Share the letter with grandparents, aunts and uncles. A photo in the family group chat prevents duplicates and answers the question of what they should bring. If you are unsure about the number, see how many Reyes presents per child.
